Congratulations! you have found the Natural 1s Adventure Company, where bold plans and dice rolls go to die. As a member you agree to the following terms:

1. Probability of Failure: We will almost certainly fail. In fact, our business model thrives on it. Rolling a “1” isn’t a bug—it’s our entire brand.

2. Character Mortality: Expect to meet an untimely, deeply embarrassing, and likely preventable death. If you wanted longevity, you should’ve joined the Arcane Colective.

3. Healing Policy: Our single cleric is overworked and bitter. Healing is not guaranteed, especially if you were the one who “accidentally” woke whatever that was in the corner.

4. Customer Service: Complaints can be directed to our  Department of Regret lead, Holg the Magnificent.  Bring snacks.

5. Liability: The Natural 1s are not liable for lost limbs, lost treasure, lost dignity, or permanent psychological scarring. That’s on you and your poor life choices.

By continuing, you accept that chaos and humiliation are inevitable and a Natural 20 an impossibility. Thank you for choosing The Natural 1s, where adventure invariably goes wrong—spectacularly.